End of May, time does fly...

So...what's been going on around here

I took my first ever flight. It was scary, but I did it. I only had one little panic attack on the way there. The trip was lots of fun and did a lot of walking too. It was to Washington D.C. I had never been before, so it was cool to finally go. Someone was protesting across the street from the White House and the flag was up, so it seems the President was home that day.

We also learned to never trust phone GPS walking routes. It's better to look at a map and see for yourself because GPS will take you the long way. We saw the National History Museum and Art museum and got yelled out for getting too close to the pictures, of which they do not have roped off, which is odd. Lots of people were getting yelled at, not just us, as there are old statues right in the middle and so much as walking around them a little too close got people in trouble. I really do not know why things were not roped off so there would not be any accidently getting too close, but what do I know.

Also, DC traffic/pedestrian crossing times were all out of whack.

The cherry blossoms were still in bloom when we went so we got some gorgeous pictures of the trees. And met a lovely lady in the process...aka, a very rude tourist,

The weather for us was wonderful, which was great. Also got to see a parade and watch poor people struggle with a stuck float. Oops.

Flight back hit some air pockets and we were in the back row, so felt the bumpy flight quite well.

Since then, finished up classes and my brother graduated high school. My sister is about to take her boards to get her nursing certification or something to that effect. I don't know how it works exactly, but apparently she can't be an RN until she passes some test, despite having a BSN.

I had surgery over a week ago and next Tuesday I will go for a final flushing and follow-up and should be all better for a time. I did get a diagnosis with the surgery and they actually removed a tiny tumor, which was benign, but ick. They gave me pictures of it and I named it the Evil Little Martian, because that's what it looks like.

I also found out that apparently I am missing one credit hour, so I am taking an Intro to Psychology CLEP exam on Friday. Hope I pass because I want that damn degree and not getting it for one credit hour for a class I don't even need, and not telling me I am missing one hour as classes end is just AHHHHHHHH.

Okay, better.

So, that's what's been happening. And job hunting. And helping my parents prepare to move. And puppy sitting my sister and her boyfriend's dog still. Other than that, rather boring.

Finally!

I passed my test, so I am finally, FINALLY going to graduate college. Things are looking up just a little for once. There's a little light at the end of the tunnel, even if it is barely noticeable. One journey down. So many more to go.

Back-to-School is always hard

 

This is the last full week of summer for children in the local school district. The local stores and ads are there to remind everyone of this time of the year where parents cheer and children moan. It is also my little brother's last year in school. I can't believe my youngest sibling is almost grown and my mother is not enjoying that school is starting extra early this year. I think almost all children feel the same, for different reasons.

I don't have any children, so the start of a new school year doesn't mean shuffling unhappy children to buy backpacks, lunchbags, notebooks, pencils and tissue boxes. Yet, there's a sadness within me. No, I am not in any hurry to have a school-age children. I prefer to go from infancy on up, giving me at least six years, but likely more since I am not currently pregnant and don't intend to get pregnant right now, before I have to drop a child off at the local elementary school and wave good-bye. No, I am not sad to not have a child in school. Being childless is great right now with my busy life. I feel like I neglect my dogs sometimes, so having a baby that can't fend for itself and can't be left alone for obvious reasons is a bad idea right now. Certainly one day I hope I will be able to be a mother. I am glad I can go and do what I want without concerning myself with what I will do with a child.

I was going to be a teacher. A preschool/primary teacher to be exact. I still wish I was able to be one, but right now that cannot happen. And this is where my phobias interfere with my life. I can't do what I really want to do because of this and as the school year starts, a pain grips me inside as I look in. Seeing some of my friends discuss their school year and classrooms, especially those I started education with, a heaviness comes up in my chest and throat. I should be with them. I should be getting stuff for my classroom. I should be graduated and with a salary and a better place of my own by now, but I am not prepping for new students to teach and instead am stressed out trying to graduate and to find steady work I can do with no luck at the current moment.

I must work on my phobias and get my OCD under control because it's all ruined my life for far too long and I have allowed to do so. I can't cater to my fears any longer. Maybe, just maybe, one day I will get the life I always hoped to have. Well, no one said I had to stop dreaming, no matter how unrealistic it seems. I know it's all unrealistic, but when the dreams stop, so does the hope of a brighter future and the loss of hope is the loss of everything. Once you lose all hope of something getting better, life is over and I couldn't possibly live if I didn't have a small hope left of a better tomorrow. So, I will keep working on it and keeping hoping that one day, one day things truly will get better. I couldn't function if I told myself otherwise.

On a separate note, as a new school year comes upon us, let us all remember the families affected by tragedy and how hard it will be for parents who lose their children and won't be going through any of the motions they should be due to needless loss. I may feel sad, but my sadness will never come close to theirs. I will be thinking of such families. I will be thinking also of children who have a very difficult time in school or who may be bullied and are dreading a new school year and hope this year that things will be better for them.
(Images from Microsoft Office and NHS.uk)

One last chance

Tomorrow I am taking a DSST and this will be my last chance to graduate by August so I am crossing my fingers to just pass this time. Twice I have taken a science clep/dsst and twice I have missed the score by one point. If I miss this one again, I will have to believe I am cursed because seriously? It's not like I'm not studying each time or studying hard because I am. The nerves are going to really hit tomorrow afternoon.