Finding Peace

Each day brings more peace and more chaos.

Each day I am coming to acceptance of my reality.

Each day I must weight the risks and benefits of my treatment plan.

Each day there is a little sorrow and a little happiness

Each day I think about my future and if it will be what I always thought it would.

Each day I grow both stronger and weaker.

The journey is long. The journey is hard. The journey is life. Short as it is.

It is hard, but I try to not dwell on what is beyond my control. I like to be in control. That's where the anxiety gets me. Control. I fight for it. I desire it. I can't stand not having it. But the fear of losing control has created a lack of control in my own mind and body. It is keeping me trapped. Keeping me from moving forward. Keeping me from acceptance. There is not freedom when everyday is a battle for control within myself.

Only I can win this fight against myself. Only I can determine my future. I have all the control I need and it's time I use it. I will win this fight. I won't back down.

My fears will not hold me back any longer. They've taken my past. They cannot have my future.

Each day I am healing. And growing. I feel well within my mind and body. I have been empowered.