End for a time

Yesterday I got back from my lovely two week venture west to Colorado and Indianapolis and yesterday evening my boyfriend and I decided to call it quits for a year. It was a tough decision for both of us, but the distance apart would make it too hard. The more we've grown together has made us realize the reality of a long distance relationship. For now, we have separated. Once I finish school and go to the grad school closer we may get back together unless circumstances have changed that prevent that from happening...like one or both of us have found someone else. We hope to stay friends and keep in close touch for now. It was a mutual parting, but that doesn't make it any easier on either of us. As I said...it was a really difficult decision. I wish there was a way to make it work, but it's just too hard. The more and more you like someone, the harder and harder it is to watch them go and that's why we have called it separated for now. It would only got harder and harder as the year went along and we grew more and more attached to one another. Sometimes life comes with painful decisions, ones we don't want to have to make, but we do because it's for the best for all involved. I just hope my error won't make this all even harder and I'm not sure what we'd do in that case. Waiting and pondering can the hardest things to do in life.

Edit: Never mind. He never wanted to get back with me and is basically stopped even being a friend. We rarely talk at all now~december 28, 2012 update

An update finally-end of my vacation

I think I've really fucked up, but maybe it's not as bad as it seems on the outside. Kinda hoping, but yet horrified at the same time. Is that even possible? I suppose it is. Not sure what to think or feel right now at all. Waiting is the hardest thing of all. One is the loneliest number and I fear being the lonely one. Waiting is hell and I know I'm not making any sense if anyone reads this, but I'll explain after I know for certain one way or the other what the future holds.

On a positive note: New job with much better pay, but a lonely job. I'll be on my own mostly. That's a good and bad thing to me.

On another positive note: School starts in about three weeks. While that sounds like a negative...it's my very last year and I will finally, FINALLY be moving on to get my master's degree.

It's late and I'm headed back from Indianapolis after a long two week vacation tomorrow. Was in Colorado last week for a few days and that was a wonderful experience to be with my relatives. In the city right now and that was nice. Close to many things and could walk around vs Colorado where I was basically stuck at the hotel.

Both sad, happy, and very confusing time right now.