I think I've really fucked up, but maybe it's not as bad as it seems on the outside. Kinda hoping, but yet horrified at the same time. Is that even possible? I suppose it is. Not sure what to think or feel right now at all. Waiting is the hardest thing of all. One is the loneliest number and I fear being the lonely one. Waiting is hell and I know I'm not making any sense if anyone reads this, but I'll explain after I know for certain one way or the other what the future holds.
On a positive note: New job with much better pay, but a lonely job. I'll be on my own mostly. That's a good and bad thing to me.
On another positive note: School starts in about three weeks. While that sounds like a negative...it's my very last year and I will finally, FINALLY be moving on to get my master's degree.
It's late and I'm headed back from Indianapolis after a long two week vacation tomorrow. Was in Colorado last week for a few days and that was a wonderful experience to be with my relatives. In the city right now and that was nice. Close to many things and could walk around vs Colorado where I was basically stuck at the hotel.
Both sad, happy, and very confusing time right now.
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